This was fun to read. 20-60 hours tho - that is a bigggg range

This week I found out that utilising horse manure is not vegan. And yea if veganism is never using anything from an animal I guess this figures. But it really highlights how that super staunch, excessive rule following version of veganism is actually quite divorced from a truly symbiotic relationship with nature. Energetically it is so off. I know I’m stating the obvious at this stage but you can see how this lifestyle, practiced to that extreme, really appeals to rigid control patterns. To people who cannot LET GO. Having those kind of rules in place create safety where internal, God-generated safety feels unavailable. Which at the deepest level, just maintains the status quo. Because cultures solidify or shift based on the energy you bring to something. I don’t wanna shit on any effort made to not contribute to the mass farming industry which I know is horrific, and I really wanna start making more of an effort to source animal products more ethically. But I think it’s worth saying that when the underlying energetics are wonky, I dunno if it does much. It reminds me of a racial activist I tuned into back when it was all the rage to scream at white people in 2020, saying that even if you contribute towards uplifting black people from a place of shame and guilt, it was still a good thing. Which is honestly so fucking distorted I cannot even But yeah, same same. #ethical #vegan #pleb #plebchain #nostr

Last night I woke up to a dark wind whipping itself around my frozen body. Sleep paralysis is a portal. It has visited me, relentlessly, ever since I can remember. I’ve been actively practicing with it as a dimensional access point for the last couple of years. For the first few months I was tasked with staying relaxed, while the fear manifested in strange and visceral ways. Those experiences most people shake themselves awake from I sat in. I remember being pulled around my room at one point with my hand inside the mouth of something gross. I could feel the wetness of its tongue. Wild shit. But the frequency of fear lost its form the more deeply I surrendered. That’s when sleep paralysis becomes a doorway - to controlled near death experiences, soul travel and multi-dimensional healing. Last night was unusual. I haven’t sensed something that dark in a long while. I lay there in the storm still as death for what felt like a while. At some point I asked God for help. And then it spoke. “You think God is within you” “But you can’t replace me” I respond. I see you. Entity. It’s time to leave. The storm gets stronger. Over the last few weeks, a judgemental voice - a cruelness - that is not mine, has doubled down in a way where I can keenly sense the voice as not my own. It’s like the recent heatwave boiled it all the way to the surface. It’s always been there. This defensive, hostile energy. That rejects before it’s rejected. The energy is male. And as he is talking to me in that liminal space I can feel how convinced he is that I need him. His darkness engulfs me I am the calm eye of his storm. He knows we are done. One final attempt is made at re-entering and it is fucking visceral: loud, metallic clanging noises Intense pressure on my body I sense knives thousands of them raining down me it’s like laying outside in a squall of hailstones. I say: God is with me. God is with me. God is with me. Then my body wakes up. I need to pee. It feels incomplete. I ask for resolution upon going back to sleep. I have a dream about this being. He reveals himself. He is small and sad and I feel sad for him. I ask him if he wants to pass over. I distinctly remember this thoughtful look he gives, that communicates everything: I don’t know if I will be forgiven. Am I beyond redemption? I place my hand on his head and I ask for his passage. To eternally dwell in unconditional love. I walk away quickly because I’m afraid it won’t work, but as I turn back I see a small hole open in the ceiling above us, white light streams through a rope drops down and he’s gone. As I leave the dream, I am in the in between talking to a small child. Possibly me. Somehow I know she has answers. I ask her why I needed him at one point. She said: He reduces people. But don’t worry he came when you were too young to have anything to do with anything. In another life, he got very lost. And then my body stirs to early morning light. I turn over her words in my head. He reduces people. My mind wants it to be clearer. But my heart knows what she means. - Over the last few months, the punisher squatting in my mind, has lost its grip on my nervous system. I have had hundreds and hundreds of mad experiences at this point but this shit does not get old. I don’t share many of these experiences, let alone so soon after. But I want to talk about them more. I believe I employed this entity to protect me from the pain of rejection. One morning about 18 months ago I heard a whisper while in a hypnagogic state: You are liminal channel. I still don’t fully know what to do with that information, but I realise that poetry helps me convey this phenomena. And maybe now is the time to shine a brighter light on it. #pleb #nostr #multidimensionalwork #spiritualawakening #sleepparalysis

Get a grip girl. If I can fuck up and crash out as much as I have and feel as free as I do now, while actively moving towards the life of my dreams and seeing more and more evidence of it everyday day, so can you. #pleb #nostr #GM #plebchain