“There are almost no characters in this story, and almost no dramatic confrontations, because most of the people in it are so sick and so much the listless playthings of enormous forces. One of the main effects of war, after all, is that people are discouraged from being characters.” —Slaughterhouse-Five

Good luck out there, bud.

Amazon boxes are great oil soakers.

Chainsaw technician.

Everyone else has been doing it wrong this whole time.

I was under the impression that a room which is literally a bed was the definition of “bedroom.” Have I been mistaken?

Also totally understand.

If you wanna join a doomsday cult right about now, I totally understand.

Or you have to be REALLY hot if you’re bad at hiding your disdain.