I've been going for a walk most mornings since February. Today I decided to also go for a walk in the afternoon. Purposefully confronting the hottest part of the day. No hat or sunglasses, tank top and shorts. It was splendid.

I blew up shit last night. I'm not going to pretend it had anything to do with patriotism or pride. It was mostly for the enjoyment of my son, and my wife, who was shitfaced as usual and probably didn't really care about what I was doing as long as it didn't offend or annoy her. My son turns 18 next year. This might mean one more year of this shit before I hang it up. Did I like blowing shit up at one time? Sure. But not that much anymore. Better to let others do it if they want, and just stay out of it. I guess I wasn't arrested or fined for what I did. The state stayed mostly uninvolved, beyond whatever taxes they collected. Is that a win? Probably for my son.

YouTube shorts are terribly addictive. I have to avoid them most of the time, or I will find myself struggling (hours later) to return to productive life. I've found a lot on YouTube that is not good for me. I have to be pretty careful with what I choose to have playing in the background. I may need to take another break from it. I'll need to find a background to work to - or will I?

I've been playing a game in my phone for 7 or 8 months now. The game is very good at keeping you playing it - lots of things to click, just enough new stuff to keep it interesting. After not being on social media for quite some time, I can see the same hooks, because the game has a strong social component. I am leading 100 other players through the game. These are real people, not bots, and most are just as captured as I am. It is hard to contemplate walking away, even temporarily. The social component is what attracted me to the game, as that element was missing in my life. I've used games for social interaction before, but the game I was playing before had become much less socially rewarding, so I had quit playing it. How do I feel about knowing I am being manipulated, I can see elements of the dopamine traps, but convincing myself to stay anyway, because of the social element? I spend a significant number of hours each week (each day?) either playing, managing, or thinking about this game. Just about every sign of addiction (or capture) is there, and I don't deny any of it. I can say I would be more productive if I quit, but I doubt it - maybe briefly, but I would just find another distraction. And the scary thought (to me) is that the next distraction could be AI-based, with AI supplying the social outlet, or at least pretending to do so. I'm already interacting with various AI prompts intellectually, using them for coaching, for being a sounding board... One concept I have become attached to is that we seek witnesses - people who see us act, hear us, listen, watch. By allowing AI to serve as a witness, I feel like I'm replacing yet another thing that would give me a social outlet, even if it is really replacing transactional relationships. This is going to get messy.

Why yes. Yes, you are.

Were he a carnivore, or at least avoiding seed oils, he'll probably be fine. Otherwise, infernos await him.

Odd, I watched her Shawn Ryan interview today. Wasn't anti-Candace at all. That's what the tube algo served me. I find her a bit nutty, but mostly plausible. I don't think I could watch her for long as a host though.