I swear, I did set my alarm. I triple-checked it the night before. I even set two, just to be safe. But somehow, I woke up to sunlight hitting my face like it was personally judging me. I grabbed my phone and saw the time: 9:47 AM. I was supposed to be at work at 9:00. Not waking up. At work. I jumped out of bed like I was being chased by bees. No breakfast, no shower, I barely even remembered pants. I threw on the first clothes I could find—mismatched socks, shirt inside out, mystery stain included. I looked like a confused art teacher. I sprinted out the door, only to realize halfway down the street… It was Saturday. No work. No meetings. No emails. Just me… in public… looking like a sleep-deprived raccoon for absolutely no reason. I went back home, crawled into bed with my shoes still on, and questioned all my life choices.

So, the other day, I had this super important Zoom meeting. Like, career-changing important. I wore a nice shirt, did my hair, and made sure the background was clean and professional-looking. Of course, I was only dressed from the waist up. Classic. Anyway, the meeting starts, and everything’s going well. I'm nodding, pretending to take notes, throwing in the occasional "Great point!"—you know, professional stuff. Then... it happens. I accidentally shared my screen. No big deal—except I had a tab open titled: “How to sound smart in meetings without actually knowing anything.” And everyone saw it. I tried to play it cool, like, “Haha! Just doing some research for a friend.” No one believed me. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, my cat jumped on the desk, walked right across the keyboard, and somehow turned on a filter—so now I had GIANT cartoon sunglasses and sparkles around my head... and I couldn’t turn them off. I just sat there, giving a very serious financial update, looking like a disco ball. They still haven’t removed me from the team... but I’m 90% sure I’m only there for comic relief now.