Some people are probably guilty if they don't believe or dismiss our experiences. Others are triggered and many simply don't understand how someone could be treated this way. Find people who listen and show up for you!

Bring all your burning questions about healing, coaching, toxic and healthy relationships. I'm presenting this Wednesday September 16th, 2026 at Connect Idaho at Puerto Vallarta in Pocatello, ID. We'll be there from 11:30am to 1pm. Come have lunch and meet all the amazing people there too!

A lot of people say they've done the work, but still don't have the relationship or life they want. This is usually because there is still more work to do, even if we don't see it consciously. It doesn't mean we're broken or we need fixing. It simply means we have some work to do to align ourselves with the relationships and life we truly want.

They'll blame us for everything including choosing to get into a relationship with them. Of course they hide who they are, so we actually had no idea who we were getting into a relationship with. We don't see it until we do. Healing helps us see it sooner.

Confronting abusive people in our lives almost never works out the way we want it to. After all, they've never been accountable before, why would they be now? Keep gathering evidence, but do it for yourself and for court if or when you need it. Use it as another reminder you're not crazy!

I cringe when I hear someone say they've done the work and they can spot a narcissist a mile away. Not sure I've met someone that can do that immediately. I've seen far too many people say this and then end up in another toxic relationship though. It's not just about healing, it's about actually having healthy relationships with healthy people.

Many of us over explain everything and it's because we were trained and programmed to do this. We also don't have to. Just like we learned to do this, we can learn to not do this too.

Does it help and does it make a difference? These are good questions to ask about many things. Does it help to beat ourselves up? Nope. Not even a little. It usually just creates resentment for ourselves in ourselves. Kindness is key to everything!

Most of us have or still do question ourselves and whether we were the problem in abusive relationships. Even if we didn't behave the way we would have liked to, it doesn’t mean we were the entire problem. Beating ourselves up also holds us back from the life we truly want. Be kind to you! ❤️

So many people have so many judgements about how people get out of abusive relationships or what they do in the process. The reality is that no one actually knows what you went through. They don't get to judge you about decisions they never had to make and we don't have to listen if they do.