Narcissists simply do not care about anyone else, ever! They only care about what they can get from us or through us. They will say and act like they care about us or love us, but this is only a manipulation. This is how they get what they need. It's not right or ok, but it's the truth. We don't have to participate! #grownostr

We cannot have deep, quality relationships without facing hard truths in ourselves and with others. The basis of this is honesty. First with ourselves and then with others. If we are unwilling to face and communicate these things we will have to settle for shallow surface level relationships with ourselves and with others. #grownostr

People often tell us to get over it and often mean well. The how is the hard part and most people were never taught this. Doing the work of healing helps teach and train us how to do these things. That's why it's so important to do the work. Then we learn how and it no longer has the same affect on us. #grownostr

Narcissists cause chaos and drama, but what's worse is they enjoy watching it. Watch out for anyone that seems to enjoy this. That's a red flag. I realize it's not easy, but work to not react when they are trying to cause issues. It will probably get worse first, but they often go find someone else they can manipulate then. #grownostr

Toxic people try to keep us small. It's to control us. We continue to reinforce this in ourselves even after we get out of toxic relationships. It wasn't safe for us before and so we carry this with us. Doing the work to heal allows us to open up to the good things in our lives and embrace them! #grownostr

Narcissists don’t see you as a person with feelings and needs. They see you as a resource, someone to use, drain, and discard. Real love isn’t transactional. We all deserve to find and have someone in our lives that truly loves us. We don't have to continue giving to anyone who doesn't reciprocate this. #grownostr

The pain we go through is not easy and neither is feeling the emotions, especially when they are bursting out. It's good they are coming out though. We must release them in order to make space for all the good we want in our lives. #grownostr

Stop making excuses for red flags. If someone lies, manipulates, or disrespects you, that’s who they are. Hoping for them to change will only prolong your pain. Anyone can change if they actually decide to, but most people won't. Hope often only keeps us stuck in toxic relationships that won't ever change! #grownostr

Most of us have felt we weren't enough. This is never the truth. There's also nothing we could have done or can do in order to have a good relationship with toxic people. They must also do the work themselves. We are enough just as we are. The best thing we can do is focus on ourselves and our own healing. #grownostr

Most people have resistance to things in their lives. Some things we simply don't like or want and that's ok. If we want to do something and are not doing it, it's because of emotions we are resisting feeling in the process of doing that thing. When we work through the resistance, we simply do the thing. #grownostr

A narcissist will never give you real closure because keeping you confused benefits them. Healing happens when you stop waiting for them to fix what they broke and start rebuilding yourself on your own terms. The way they treated us is as close to closure as we'll get from them. Focus on you and moving forward with your life! #grownostr

We can't beat or force ourselves or anyone else into anything, at least not long term. These are all things we must allow ourselves and others to do. Even if there is change from it, it will only be temporary. We must allow ourselves and others to heal, love ourselves and move forward with our lives. #grownostr

Most people simply won't see or understand the abuse we went through and that's ok. They didn't have the same experience with these people and they usually didn't see the abuse. It doesn't mean anything other than they didn't see it. There are people who will believe and support you though. Find these people. #grownostr

When you love yourself, you stop tolerating less than you deserve. And that’s when everything changes. Most of us were never taught how to actually love ourselves and so we must it. It's something we can all learn though. It's also the biggest thing that will change your life for the better forever! #grownostr

Boundaries teach people what you will and won’t accept. If someone refuses to respect them, they’re not your person. Boundaries are also not something we put on someone else, they are for ourselves. It's ok if someone doesn't like your boundaries, but it's also ok to restrict access to these people. #grownostr

Many times we think about the things and experiences we can buy for ourselves. These are important, but the growth and learning comes from inside ourselves. We must make the time and energy to give this to ourselves. It's the time, attention and care from ourselves to ourselves. It all starts inside us! #grownostr

I had not before. I'll check it out. Thanks.

No matter what we do, narcissists are going to throw a fit and blame us for everything. They're trying to control us. Go do the things you want to do and live your life. They'll throw a fit, but they're going to anyway. They'll never give us permission to live our lives, we must just do it anyway. #grownostr

Healing is not easy or painless, but we are already feeling the pain of not being healthy. The pain is not optional, but learning to release it is. It is more painful in the beginning to face all the things we don't want to face, but it's the only path forward that doesn't carry this pain forever. #grownostr

Time only allows us to accidentally work through our emotions and trauma. It's still good when and if it happens, but it's not a conscious thing, unless and until we learn how to do this. It's a skill anyone can learn and it will change your life beyond what you may imagine is possible. Learn to do the work consciously! #grownostr

They will tell the story that makes them look the best and gives them the most control whether they have to make part or all of it up. Nothing is off limits for them, unless you bring it up. Own your truth and hold your boundaries. This is the only way to deal with them. Leave if and when you can! #grownostr

We are often trained and programmed to apologize for our existence by toxic people. Then we struggle still apologizing for everything even after we're free from them. Awareness of this is the first step. We deserve and get to take up space in the world just as everyone else does. We also don't owe anyone an apology for simply existing. #grownostr