Perhaps I interpreted your post incorrectly, I was under the impression it was exclusively discussing the biblical reference to women submitting to their husbands, which I dont think includes any mention of husbands submitting to their wives - both directions, as you say? They are to love them, and wives are to give respect. Respect is entirely different from submission, though - especially over the duration of a marriage. Respect is foundational on both sides to any lasting relationship (and love is not a substitute for it). As far as men laying down their lives, I dont discount the protective role and it's disproportionate effect on men. Women giving up autonomy, though, is a strange concept which I dont think is nearly as natural to women as it is frequently supposed. I think it is a concession, a tolerated trade-off to compensate for bearing the brunt of child rearing and consequently being dependent / at a disadvantage economically for millenia, not some innate desire to let someone else steer your life. Given the options, it seems obviously more appealing to be a genuine partner with someone on reasonably equal footing, at least when it comes to major decisions. Men have different needs than women, and I can understand the disproportionate need for male protectiveness and provider-contributions to be acknowledged and appreciated by the female partner, but lifelong submission, always being the subordinate in your own life by default... that sounds like a deal only a person with their back against a wall would take.

Yeah... I prefer to have the leadership role in my own life. Under no circumstances am I going to give that away to another human, male or female. If someone actually wants to do that, to each their own, but being female doesn't make me any less of an autonomous person. My life is mine. Marrying someone with shared values to go through life with doesn't mean we have to do it on unequal footing where the male partner has final say and by default gets the "final decision" in the trials and tribulations of both of our lives for no other reason than being male. As for the argument that maleness is inherently more adept at leadership, great, sure, cool - I'd rather live with my own mistakes than let someone else make my decisions for me.