Whether you’re 9 or 90, you’re yapping about AI every single day now. The internet never did that. That was slow, boring, dial-up bollocks. Took years for people to stop asking “what’s a browser?” while staring at a spinning hourglass like absolute mugs. ChatGPT turned up and in two months had 100 million people arguing with their new therapist robot. Internet took over a decade to get anywhere near that kind of penetration. One minute the whole planet had TikTok brain. Next minute everyone’s treating a chatbot like their best mate. Absolute madness. Nothing else has ever hit that hard, that fast. Meanwhile I’m sat here paying seventeen quid a month for Muse and it just works. You don’t need Codex, Claude Code, Grokbot or any of that other overcomplicated bollocks.

The real coin in this AI circus ain’t the chatbots, it’s the sweaty physical underbelly. Oklo and NuScale are out here flogging little nuclear reactors to data centres like they’re portable heaters from B&Q. Absolute speculative bollocks. One regulatory wobble and the lot’s just sat there looking like a very expensive garden ornament. Credo and Astera are the quiet bastards soldering the cables so the GPUs don’t start screaming at each other. Proper picks-and-shovels merchants while the rest of the room’s still arguing about “model size matters”. Applied Digital and Cipher used to mine crypto, now they’re chucking up AI barns and praying the hyperscalers actually rock up with the cheque. High-yield debt and pure hope. And copper? The whole industry’s about to eat itself alive over the stuff. Data centres are proper Chinese copper pigs. Supply’s lagging and everyone’s just pretending it’s fine. Nuclear, cables, concrete and metal. The glamorous bit of AI is just the front of house. The real chaos is round the back having a cigarette.

9/11 is 100% my fault. Full stop. Doesn’t matter. All the remembering just nicks today’s peace and leaves you looking like a soft bastard replaying ancient disasters while the kettle’s boiled dry and the cat’s judging you from the fridge.

Right listen here you absolute melt. The CPUs have finally lost the plot. Arm’s one has been the underpaid roadie for a decade, lugging the tensors about while the GPU did the glamorous matrix multiplication and took all the credit. Now it’s got SME2 and it’s storming the stage going “right you flash bastard, I’m doing the outer products myself.” Apple’s CPU never even bothered being the roadie. It’s been the entire stadium, the PA system, the bar staff and the afterparty the whole time with its unified memory and “everything lives in the same giant puddle of bandwidth” architecture. Absolute power move. Intel’s still in the corner waving its AMX around like a man who’s been saying “I’ve had matrix extensions for years” to an empty room while everyone ignored him. And the Chinese lot? They’re out back inventing entirely new instruments because someone nicked the guitar catalogue and banned them from the shop. The whole compute stack is having a proper identity crisis and the GPUs are starting to sweat. Heterogeneous architecture my arse. This is a mutiny.