My Little Pony Cryptography is Magic

Just got back from the circus. The trapeze artists were AMAZING! I was talking with the concession worker and I was asking him "what happens if one of the performers falls?" He answered "don't worry, a net will catch them." Just then, one of the performer's fingers slipped, and they started plummeting towards the ground. Before I could even blink, a very large and muscular woman started charging across the tent and BAM! She caught the performer just before they could hit the ground. "Oh my god" I shouted. "Who is THAT?!" The concession guy just looked really irritated at me and answered "That's Annette. I told you she would catch a performer if they fell."

Hey, I've got an important cooking question for y'all. What is the FDA recommended temperature for cooking ground beef to kill prion disease?

Why do suicidal people go through all this effort to shoot themselves with a gun when there is a perfectly good puddle to drown in right over there in the toilet bowl? Major skill issue.

I'm so proud of myself for beating my inner demons this afternoon. They were telling me that I should really get some sleep because it's good for me, but I somehow managed to keep myself from passing out in bed. In celebration, I've decided to treat myself. And right now you know what sounds really nice? Going to bed. Shit...

Being smart doesn't mean you don't make mistakes. It just means that your mistakes are far more creative. Pretty much my definition of wisdom is being able to make robust decisions. When I'm trying to make a wise decision, the question I ask myself isn't "what choice will lead to the best outcome." The question I ask myself is "what rules and reasoning could lead even an absolute idiot to some kind of success."

Pizza is a religious experience

Being wrong is good for engagement. Is that your intended strategy?

Wait, you believe in arithmatic? Dang, I can see Big Calc has got you exactly where they want you. Get out of my sight, sheep. I grow tired of your presence.

NOOOO! YOUR SUPPOSED TO CONSTANTLY ADJUST YOUR STOREFRONT PRICE EVERY TIME MONERO FLUCTUATES BY 5 PENNIES!!!! YOU CAN'T JUST LIST YOUR PRICE IN MONERO!!!